Minute Man Begs, "Beam me up!"
Dateline: 05/14/00
Members of the House of Representatives often get to deliver "one-minute" speeches on the floor of the House. These speeches, while truly restricted by the Speaker to one-minute in length, can otherwise be about any subject, whether related to the activities of Congress or not.
Typically, one-minute speeches capture little attention in the House chamber, except for those passionate passages of Democratic Rep. James A. Traficant, Jr. of Ohio.
Over his 16 years in the House, Rep. Traficant's heartfelt and animated delivery of one-minute speeches on a staggering variety of subjects have amazed, amused and impressed his fellow Representatives, constituents, reporters and C-Span fans across the nation.
So unique to his delivery as to have become his trademark, Rep. Traficant's frequent use of the Star Trek term "Beam me up" holds his audience wondering exactly when and how often it will come. They rarely have long to wait.
Direct from the pages of the Congressional Record, and in no way meant to support or oppose his opinions on the subjects addressed, are just a few of Rep. Traficant's recent one-minute speeches.
Leave "Touched by an Angel" on TV
Mr. Speaker, hundreds of thousands of Americans signed petitions to have the
popular TV show "Touched by an Angel" removed from television. They
want it canceled. They said, quote-unquote, "It refers too much to
God." Unbelievable. But just turn on the TV. Murder, rape, terrorism,
graphic depiction of sex. Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. Mass murder is okay,
but God is offensive? I think it is time, ladies and gentlemen, for Congress to
tell these petitioners to leave God and "Touched by an Angel" alone.
Leave it on TV. I yield back all the sex, drugs, and murder on television.
No Five-Day Waiting Period on Chinese Nukes
Mr. Speaker, China spies and buys our secrets. Then China points their
missiles at American cities. Now if that is not enough to put trigger locks on
Chinese missiles, a White House spokesman said, and I quote, "We will grant
China swift admission to the World Trade Organization." Swift admission no
less. Beam me up here. I am firmly convinced those experts at the White
House are smoking dope. I yield back the fact that there is no 5-day waiting
period on Chinese nukes. Think about that.
Flag Day
Madam Speaker, in America it is illegal to burn trash, but we can burn the flag.
It is illegal to remove a label from a mattress, but we can literally rip the
stars and stripes off our flag. It is illegal to damage a mailbox, but we can
destroy our flag. Beam me up. A people that does not honor and respect
their flag is a people that does not honor and respect their country nor their
neighbors. Today is Flag Day. I say if we want to make a political statement, we
can burn our bras, burn our BVDs, but we should leave Old Glory alone. Every day
should be Flag Day.
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