Are you having a hard time knowing how to react to all the credible and not-so-credible terrorist threats? Do the multi-faceted dangers of the Axis of Evil seem abstract and obscure to you? If so, maybe you need to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Before dismissing that idea as outrageous, consider the study, Biological Warfare and the "Buffy Paradigm", published Sept. 29, 2001 by the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS), in which many themes of terrorism are shown to closely mimic the chaotic nature of Buffy's life.

In their CSIS study, Authors Anthony H. Cordesman and Arleigh A. Burke describe "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" as a television series about, "a teenage vampire slayer who lives in a world of unpredictable threats where each series of crises only becomes predictable when it is over and is followed by a new and unfamiliar one." Sound familiar? 

Compare some of Cordesman and Burke's descriptions of Buffy the Vampire Slayer plots with U.S. government leaders' descriptions of the all-too real terrorist threat.

To Buffy: "The scenarios are unpredictable and have very unclear motivation."

In his Aug. 15, 2002 report to Congress, U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld described the war on terror as one in which, "Current and future enemies will seek to strike the United States and U.S. forces in novel and surprising ways." 

"Surprise and uncertainty" define the challenge to defend against "the unknown, the unseen and the unexpected," said Rumsfeld of the terrorist threat.

To Buffy: "Arcane knowledge is always inadequate and fails to predict, detect, and properly characterize the threat."

In a Sept. 26 press conference, Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld calls predicting terrorist attacks "a vastly more difficult to do it before something happens," and goes on to say, "And the task we have is to try to take all of these pieces of information and draw conclusions that are in the interests of the American people and the people of the world."

"New information has fed into an analytic structure which has made us take very seriously both the new information and the analysis, which leads us to this conclusion. So information has become available very recently, which, together with the analysis of the general circumstances and the situation, leads us to make this change." -- Attorney General Ashcroft in announcing an elevation of the national terrorism threat level on Sept. 10, 2002.

"Today, no single agency calls homeland security its sole or even its primary mission. Instead, responsibility is scattered among more than 100 separate government organizations," said Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge on June 10, 2002. "This creates situations that would be comical if the threat were not so serious."

In presenting his plan for a Department of Homeland Security to Congress, President Bush referred to the government as, "a patchwork ... of overlapping responsibilities and it really does hinder our ability to protect the homeland."

"Right now, as many as a hundred different government agencies have some responsibilities for homeland security, and no one has final accountability," stated Bush in an address to the nation on June 6, 2002. "Based on everything I've seen, I do not believe anyone could have prevented the horror of September the 11th," he said.

To Buffy: "It is never clear whether the threat is internal, from an individual, or from an outside organisation."

Of terrorists, Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld states, "they can live in cities, they can live in mountains, they can operate on border areas, they can function in ungoverned areas. They have a lot of advantages."

"This is a conflict without battlefields or beachheads, a conflict with opponents who believe they are invisible." - President Bush - Radio Address of Sept. 15, 2001

To Buffy: "The attackers have no firm or predictable alliances, cooperate in nearly random ways, and can suddenly change method of attack and willingness to take risks."

"There are thousands of these terrorists in more than 60 countries. They are recruited from their own nations and neighborhoods and brought to camps in places like Afghanistan, where they are trained in the tactics of terror. They are sent back to their homes or sent to hide in countries around the world to plot evil and destruction." President Bush - Address to Congress - Sept. 20, 2001

To Buffy: "Risk taking is not rational or subject to predictable constraints and the motivation behind escalation is erratic at best."

"It is a difficult thing to try to accurately weigh the risks of action -- of doing something. And it is a very difficult thing to weigh the risks of not doing something," said Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld on Sept. 27 in responding to questions about the threat posed by Iraq.

"They recognize no barrier of morality. They have no conscience. The terrorists cannot be reasoned with." - President Bush, remarks at signing of the Patriot Act.

To Buffy: "No success, not matter how important at the time, ever eliminates the risk of future problems"

"Americans should not expect one battle, but a lengthy campaign, unlike any other we have ever seen." - President Bush - Address to Congress - Sept. 20, 2001

In a Sept. 26 press conference, Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld declared terrorists "can be bombed and blown up and be back in business in three weeks." 

So can vampires. Hang in there, Buffy... and America.