Goofy Government Quotes
"Things have never been more like the way they are today in history."
-- Dwight David Eisenhower
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been."
-- Former President Gerald Ford (Two former Presidents agree.)
"The future will be better tomorrow."
-- Dan Quayle (A former Vice President sort of does, too.)
"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave."
-- Former President Gerald Ford (Abe had no comment.)
"I have not committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
-- Former New York Mayor David Dinkins (On been accused of tax evasion.)
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth.
I assisted in furthering that version."
-- Lt. Col. Oliver North (On why his statements in relation to Iran-Contra were not
"lies.")
According to the FAA, any "Premature impact of an aircraft with terrain" is a "crash."
"That's part of American greatness, discrimination. Inequality, I think, breeds
freedom and gives a man opportunity."
-- Former Georgia Governor Lester Maddox
"If anybody has any better ideas, I'm all ears."
-- Ross Perot, presidential candidate in 1992. (Spin Control -- Mr. Perot's ears merely
appear large in relationship to the size of his head.)
"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, 'Thank God, I'm still
alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
-- Rep. Barbara Boxer (D-California)
"It's about a socialist, antifamily political movement that encourages women to
leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and
become lesbians."
-- Former Presidential candidate Pat Robertson (On the Equal Rights Amendment. He seems to
have been opposed.)
"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with
them."
-- Former President George Bush (No it wasn't. Yes it was. Was it? I think it was.)
"It is the responsibility of the media to look at the President with a microscope,
but they go too far when they use a proctoscope."
-- Former President Richard Nixon
Great Quotes | Goofy Quotes | Quayle Quotes
Several of these gems are from one of the funniest books on U.S. Government ever
written, "Great Government Goofs" by Leland H. Gregory, III.
Want to read them all?
Order
"Great Government Goofs" from Borders.
